Training to Live

out of the 13 races i’ve done in the last 6 years, there have been only two occasions when i have raced a distance and performed worse than i had in the past.

the first time was my 5th half marathon that i ran last spring – it was much hotter than i expected and i was unprepared. i wasn’t drinking enough and i likely hadn’t trained properly. i ran the course 4 minutes slower than i had the year before, and for some reason, it didn’t really bother me. by the fall, i bounced back to my old time (almost a minute faster) and a few weeks later, took 3 more minutes off.

(this was taken at that race, early on before things got really rough)

the second time was this weekend. half marathon #8. it was on a course i had never done before (this year i purposefully sought out new, interesting races to do. i’d seen this one on angela’s blog – she did the 10K last year). the race was super small (only a few hundred people) and not as well organized as most of the other races i do (my race kit had 4 boxes of triscuit crackers and a whole bunch of wrist and menstrual cramp tummy heat packs. random!). there was no elevation map on the race website, so i had no idea how many hills there would be! i knew it would be hilly-ish, but i wasn’t ready for steep hills in kilometre 2. at kilometre 16, it started to POUR. thunderstorms. i was soaked in an instant (squishy shoes), which didn’t help my defeated attitude. i made the same mistakes i’ve made many many times in the past: i didn’t drink enough and i didn’t take in enough calories, and you better believe i hit the wall. my splits were getting slower, i was getting tireder (is that a word?), and i just wanted the whole thing to be over! i had enough energy at the end to sprint the last kilometre and pass a bunch of people, which made it obvious that i hadn’t run hard enough during the rest of the race.

.

gretchen rubin says that people feel happier when they are improving and this is true for me! she talks about how having an atmosphere of growth is important. i don’t have any more races until august, but i will take this lesson and work towards growing and improving, not only my time, but my attitude and outlook on myself too! i know i can’t get faster each and every race forever because that is obviously unsustainable. from now on, i will embrace my body for what it can do, even if it’s not always as fast as i wish it were!

although i’ve had a lot of fun with a busy spring racing season, i am happy that i have a few months of “breather” time to refocus and really work hard on my speed and hills without the pressure of getting a long long run in every single weekend.

until then, here are some funny pictures.

i am wearing a bondi band that says yoga on it and has a stick figure in tree pose. i am trying to imitate that here.

although these were taken pre-race, this pretty much sums up how i would feel after!

can you see the pain in my eyes? my legs look so slow, i may as well be walking (oh and i did half to stop and walk a few times up parts of those killer hills). i look a tiny bit deranged on the right, no? it kind of felt awesome passing some people at the end.

I am ashamed to admit how long it has been since the house was deep cleaned. I absolutely adore clean things (clean everything, really, makes me ridiculously happy. clean sheets, clean socks, clean me, clean boy, etc) but I don’t really enjoy *cleaning*, and so I don’t do it nearly as often as I should. This results in the house being messy/dirty/chaotic which then leads to a stressed out mind. Not healthy and not balanced. On Saturday morning, when I had finally had enough of the (somewhat gross) upstairs bathroom, I decided it was time for a good scrub. I pulled out my Vim + Bleach and sponges, etc and got down to business. That’s when I realized why I hate cleaning so much.

I refer back, once again, to The Happiness Project, commandment #8: identify the problem. A careful examination of my problem behaviour can often end with a really simple solution, which results in multifold happiness. Consider the cleaning issue. What did I hate the most? Every time I clean, the bathroom especially, my hands burn from all the direct bleach contact. Scrubbing the soap scum off the tub floor kills my arms and no amount of bleach seems to be able to loosen it up. I inhale an unhealthy amount of chemicals. Lugging around a heavy bucket of water and a mop is a big pain and often results in more of a mess to clean up. How could easily I fix this? Back to the Happiness Project to indulge in a modest splurge . New cleaning products (and the proper tools) would make cleaning more of a fun project (novelty makes us happy) than a boring, unpleasant chore. I have been meaning to green my cleaning supplies for a long time, but I never actually acted on this. Since last week was “Earth Week” (and since I didn’t really do anything special for Earth Day because my life is already pretty green as it is) I decided it was time. I got myself off to my neighbourhood Canadian Tire to check out their selection while the boys were off biking for the day. I was pleasantly surprised with the lineup! I saw some brands that I recognized (Seventh Generation, Mrs. Meyers, etc) and some new ones (Method, Naturals from Simple Green, etc). I was particularly charmed by the Method products: they had good scents, a wide range of options, and gorgeous packaging, which really appealed to the designer in me. I picked out a variety (in case Method wound up being terrible, my investment wouldn’t be a totally loss), and a new mop and skipped my way back home.

kitchen lineup: counters and floors

bathroom cast: toilet bowl, tub scrub, and tile/counter top spray

multi-surface spray, i plan to use it mostly in the kitchen

Verdict: Method is awesome. Seventh Generation is just meh (though it is considerably cheaper than the others). The thing that I dislike about it compared to all the other products is that when you spray and clean/wipe, you need to wait a few minutes and wipe it off with a wet cloth after. This is an annoying extra step. Naturals floor cleaner gets mixed results – good clean but there seemed to maybe be a slightly sticky-ish film, but this may have also been due to other causes. Cleaning the floor with a spray bottle and a spongey mop is sooooooo much easier than a bucket of cleaning solution and water (this is likely why people buy the swiffer wet jet). My hands didn’t burn at all! My lungs enjoyed the lack of harsh chemical fumes and the pleasant mild smells instead (I particularly enjoy the eucaplytus-mint of the bathroom Method line). Having the proper tools makes all the difference in the world. I stole a sheet of the ScotchBrite Jon bought for cleaning bikes, etc, squirted some tub cleaning cream on it, and got to the soap scum, and HOLY MOLY. I was a tad worried that the enamel on the tub would scrub right off, but it didn’t – just the soap scum! Hardly any effort was required, and now the tub is sparkley white. I still need to pick up a few more products: mirror/glass cleaner and something for the wood floors.

Green products aren’t cheap, but this was a very “worth it to me” splurge. Additionally, I feel better about the healthiness of my home now that toxic chemicals aren’t everywhere. We also washed and folded allllllll the laundry last night, and I vacuumed all the carpets/rugs in the house. Life is good!

blast! ecto just ate the post that i spent more than 3 days writing. boooo

so. i’ve been “doing” yoga for just over a year now. i say “doing”, because it’s been somewhat half hearted, 20 minutes of yoga for runners here, a half pigeon there, etc. more practiced yoga people always say that it’s important for beginners to go to a real class to get feedback and guidance on their form, but i never took it that seriously. all the yoga studios i had vaguely checked out online were far away and pretty expensive, and when i could do yoga at home for free by myself, why go anywhere else?

i never really enjoyed yoga that much though. sure, the stretching felt good and i’m sure my muscles appreciated it, but doing audio classes on the living room floor was kind of boring. i only did it because i knew it was good for me. sometimes i couldn’t even make it through the 20 minutes!!! (i wondered how anyone could do a 90 minute class). i do love the pants though, and i have always kind of joked that i lived the yoga lifestyle, even though i didn’t really *do* yoga)

cue the happiness project. april’s theme is money, and the resolution for the the week before last was to spend some money to buy some happiness. i thought about what area of my life i could splurge a little on and i thought of 2 things. yoga was the first. i did a bit of research and found a studio that is about a 7 minute bike ride from my house! this is convenient. having to take a bus and a subway to get downtown to pay $20 for a yoga class probably wouldn’t actually happen often. this place had some good reviews online (yelp and others) and they had a good rate for new students. i bought a 2 week unlimited pass and decided to try out studio yoga to see if it would make me happier.

i have so far been to 4 different classes (a gentle hatha, 2 different restorative classes, and a reduced heat flow class) and i am in love!! the studio is beautiful and spa like. since i don’t belong to a gym and do all my exercising outdoors or in my basement (or at the community pool!), it is a lovely change to be somewhere with fancy facilities. i have one more week left on my pass, and plan to try out a real hot class (i am a little scared!! if i like it, i’ll do a couple more classes before i decide to splurge on the yogitoes), iyengar (yoga that focuses on proper form), and go back to the classes i liked best before i figure out how often i want to be going back. i think i can afford at least once or twice a week. it’s a really good compliment to the running, biking and swimming that i do and it’s good for my soul too. yoga has made me extremely happy.

the second thing that i’ve been wanting for a while now but haven’t gotten around to picking up (maybe partially because i couldn’t justify spending the money…) is a bondiband. caitlin posted a coupon code (FIVE, five bands, $25), so i ordered a bunch. LOVE THEM!! i’ve worn them running, under my helmet, to yoga class, and just around (they are cute). they seem to stay put (especially the wicking ones) and they keep my hair out of my face, which is awesome. two days after my order arrived, i ordered a few more wicking bands! (jon wanted to know how many headbands a person needs. the answer to that is MANY)

so if you thought that money can’t buy happiness, you might be wrong.

i’ve switched my hours at work, so i have the day off tomorrow. i’m extremely excited about this as i haven’t really had a day off to myself in ages! all of our weekends are booked up with activities and the last two holidays (easter and christmas) have been somewhat hectic with lots of driving around and seeing people, etc. i’m planning to hit two morning yoga classes, do some fun grocery shopping, bake cookies, make ice cream, possibly try out some of ashley’s granola, go for a run in my vibrams (if my legs aren’t too sore from yoga) and watch an excess of tv! luxury to the extreme. i will also try and blog the rest of the post that got eaten up. i have a pot of steel cut oats on the stove now, and it needs my attention.

happy sunday night!

p.s. heather, i am on board with your invite to be a happy living blogger!

november is finally over! do i feel fine? i don’t know. maybe. maybe not. i am not sure how i would classify my nablopomo participation. i posted every single day, except for two: one of which i had a pretty good excuse and the second of which was directly related to the first, but the rest of my posts were not 100% awesome. i did have a few sorry excuse for a post days. i did not finish writing about all the things on my list either.

i’d probably give myself a 7.5/10. the effort was mostly there, i showed some promise, but in the end, i don’t think i quite reached the bar. it was a good exercise though. the only way to write better is to write lots. i will probably do nablopomo again, though not in december. i need a break, and i also know that i will not have access to the internet every single day, which would make it stressful/hard. we’ll see about february! it is the shortest month i can handle 28 days! i did it this month.

i’m super excited that tomorrow is december. december is my favourite: christmas, my birthday, snow, presents, family, vacation, tasty food – everything i love. i forgot to add gingerbread to my list of things to make! can’t forget that. i also signed up to make a dessert for my branch christmas potluck next friday. i haven’t figured out what i’ll take yet, but i’m sure i’ll get to that on thursday night. my coworker asked if i’d be making packages again this year (last year select friends/coworkers each got a box with a jar of jam or preserve and a selection of holiday cookies and treats). apparently he quite enjoyed them! this december will be extra busy, as we have a move scheduled (jon is vacating his apartment and coming here!) and a road trip to plan and take. i am going to have to remember to breathe.

the resolution project went well. i did not reach my goal of 150 points, but i got 138, which is 92% of that and a decent first effort. i will restructure my december goals to further my happiness through the season of light and cocoa (and stress!).

i got two jars of free nuttzo in the mail today, courtesy of opensky. that is not too shabby! there are still a few other cool things i found in various stores, so i am holding out for more december sales!

can anyone identify this car?

getting things done in november is going pretty well so far. while yoga has not exactly become a habit (it will be going on my december chart. and january and february. until it does become a habit) but i have blogged every day, i have gone out and been active in someway every single day (minus one) and i’ve become much better about going to bed with nothing hanging over me in the mornings. i no longer come home from work and curl up on the couch and veg for the evening. i take the hour and a half to shower, make supper and eat, and watch a short show or do some internetting and then spend some quality time doing responsible things. this has made me far less stressed out come the weekend because things haven’t piled up. i like this kind of living.

i am starting to think ahead to what i want to accomplish next month. we are going to be away for 1/3 of the month, so my priorities will be less home-life centric. instead i think i want to work on goals like taking a picture every day (i think i might try and do this for the whole year), doing more yoga (see above), and doing at least one thing every day that contributes to my happiness. although i have not been a student for over a year and a half now, sometimes i still think in the student mindset that i have no money and therefore i shouldn’t spend money. now, since i have a great job, an excellent living setup that allows me to save loads, and don’t currently have any expensive hobbies, i definitely have the extra income to put towards the little things in life that make my whole life better. for example, instead of buying the cheapest brand of toilet paper, i will spend a few extra dollars and get one that is softer & nicer. instead of keeping my house at 19° (68F) when i’m home and away, which is actually kind of chilly, i will keep it at 20 or 21, much more comfortable, even if it means a slightly higher gas bill. i don’t need to live like a hobo in my house with rough toilet paper, shivering in a corner. that is no way to pass the days.

sometimes money CAN buy happiness. have i mentioned how much i love that blog? it is changing my life!

on another happy note, this video made me feel pretty warm and fuzzy. (she said yes)

i’m working on a visual art project to hang up in my room that will make me smile whenever i see it. these pictures are part of my content. they were all found at the pursuit of happyness, which is a new website i recently discovered and absolutely adore. the editor basically aggregates awesomeness from around the web in the form of photographs, drawings, notes, quotes, music and videos. pretty much every entry makes my day. this is a sneak peak. i hope to start work on my project next week some time, though it is competing with christmas art projects and my mission to organize my life and my house. a little bit at a time.

i am feeling better today. my right arm kind of feels like i was vaccinated and the bruises have started to materialize into purpleness. i’m going to try an aloe vera / massage trick that i read that is supposed to help heal bruises tonight. (i read it on the interwebs! it must be true) the bike ride home today was uneventful (thank goodness)

sorry for such a cop out post! my day was kind of boring.i did get a supersurprise midweek visit from the boy, which was awesome. we had dinner together (triple bypass bacon cheddar mac and cheese), watched the latest top gear, had some cocoa and then he was off. have i mentioned that i can’t wait till he’s done school? 1 more month and a bit! 3 more days until i see him again. hurray! i’m going to load the dishwasher and go watch tv in bed.

i’ve been feeling a little blah lately – due to a large number of things like the cold weather, the rain, the dark + dreariness, work stress, the end of my running season, etc etc etc. i try to keep reminding myself that i have things really good. that i have no reason to be sad about stuff (well. i guess i do, see above). maybe what it actually is is that i should be making those little things bring the rest of me down. i stumbled on a blog (can’t remember how, but it’s a valuable part of my google reader now!) called: The Happiness Project – full of tips on how to be happier and create your own happiness. i love it. the author has personal commandments (starting with: “Be Gretchen” and ending with “There is only one love.” with “Do what ought to be done” somewhere in the middle. These are good commandments. It’s a religion I could really get on board with). There are four splendid truths and many inspirational quotes.

although i don’t agree with everything she writes, i have learned some really great, useful things. the post that seems to have stuck with me the most this week (from my perusal of the archives) is the 5 happiness boosters that do more harm than good:

1) comforting yourself with a treat. often the treats aren’t good for us. the pleasure lasts a minute but the feelings of guilt, loss of control and other negative consequences just deepen the lousiness of the day.

(i say comfort yourself with some yoga. or a bubble bath)

2) letting yourself of the hook. when you’re trying to create good habits, occassionally you’ll have a bad day – like “i don’t feel like going for a run tonight, so i’ll stay in and watch tv instead.” or, “i can fold the laundry tomorrow night instead” (this one is real). gretchen says: sticking to a resolution will boost your sense of self-esteem and self-control. So NOT letting yourself off the hook might do more to boost your happiness.

i will go fold my laundry when i am done the post.

3) turning off your phone. we all have those days when we don’t really want to talk to anyone, but though it can be tempting to isolate yourself when you’re feeling crappy, you are better off making plans with friends and family.

4) expressing your negative emotions.

Many people believe in the “catharsis hypothesis” and think that expressing anger is healthy-minded and relieves their feelings. Not so. Studies show that expressing anger only aggravates it; as Plutarch observed, “Anger, while in its beginning, often can be ended by silence, or neglect.” I’ve certainly found this to be true; once I get going, I can whip myself into a fury. It’s better to stay calm.

i find this is totally how i make myself feel more sad and upset when i am a little bit sad or upset. i will think about some little thing to tell someone about and then as i keep expanding on it and adding to it, my situation becomes worse. i will try to stay calm more often and focus more on things that make me happy. puppies and sunshine and lollypops.

5) staying in your pyjamas all day. although it can be fun to lounge around all day in your jammies, if you are feeling lethargic, powerless or directionless, not getting dressed will only make it worse!

so true! right? so i’m working on my own happiness project. i’ll share more as it grows. the first part is a resolution chart that i got from gretchen who created a year’s worth of month by month resolutions. (you can email her if you want to see them – the information is at the bottom of every post on her blog). each month had a theme, an inspirational quote to go with the theme and several resolutions for the month. her january (“Clear my closets”) was a perfect model for my november, so i created my very first month.

my plan is that at the end of the month, if i have at least 150 X, i will do something special, just for me. i will also be able to judge, at the end of the month, whether this method works for me. i am hoping that it will help me change and create some new, good habits because god knows, i need to watch less tv, do more yoga, and get better about keeping my house in order.

how are you going to make yourself happier?