Training to Live

i’ve been feeling a little blah lately – due to a large number of things like the cold weather, the rain, the dark + dreariness, work stress, the end of my running season, etc etc etc. i try to keep reminding myself that i have things really good. that i have no reason to be sad about stuff (well. i guess i do, see above). maybe what it actually is is that i should be making those little things bring the rest of me down. i stumbled on a blog (can’t remember how, but it’s a valuable part of my google reader now!) called: The Happiness Project – full of tips on how to be happier and create your own happiness. i love it. the author has personal commandments (starting with: “Be Gretchen” and ending with “There is only one love.” with “Do what ought to be done” somewhere in the middle. These are good commandments. It’s a religion I could really get on board with). There are four splendid truths and many inspirational quotes.

although i don’t agree with everything she writes, i have learned some really great, useful things. the post that seems to have stuck with me the most this week (from my perusal of the archives) is the 5 happiness boosters that do more harm than good:

1) comforting yourself with a treat. often the treats aren’t good for us. the pleasure lasts a minute but the feelings of guilt, loss of control and other negative consequences just deepen the lousiness of the day.

(i say comfort yourself with some yoga. or a bubble bath)

2) letting yourself of the hook. when you’re trying to create good habits, occassionally you’ll have a bad day – like “i don’t feel like going for a run tonight, so i’ll stay in and watch tv instead.” or, “i can fold the laundry tomorrow night instead” (this one is real). gretchen says: sticking to a resolution will boost your sense of self-esteem and self-control. So NOT letting yourself off the hook might do more to boost your happiness.

i will go fold my laundry when i am done the post.

3) turning off your phone. we all have those days when we don’t really want to talk to anyone, but though it can be tempting to isolate yourself when you’re feeling crappy, you are better off making plans with friends and family.

4) expressing your negative emotions.

Many people believe in the “catharsis hypothesis” and think that expressing anger is healthy-minded and relieves their feelings. Not so. Studies show that expressing anger only aggravates it; as Plutarch observed, “Anger, while in its beginning, often can be ended by silence, or neglect.” I’ve certainly found this to be true; once I get going, I can whip myself into a fury. It’s better to stay calm.

i find this is totally how i make myself feel more sad and upset when i am a little bit sad or upset. i will think about some little thing to tell someone about and then as i keep expanding on it and adding to it, my situation becomes worse. i will try to stay calm more often and focus more on things that make me happy. puppies and sunshine and lollypops.

5) staying in your pyjamas all day. although it can be fun to lounge around all day in your jammies, if you are feeling lethargic, powerless or directionless, not getting dressed will only make it worse!

so true! right? so i’m working on my own happiness project. i’ll share more as it grows. the first part is a resolution chart that i got from gretchen who created a year’s worth of month by month resolutions. (you can email her if you want to see them – the information is at the bottom of every post on her blog). each month had a theme, an inspirational quote to go with the theme and several resolutions for the month. her january (“Clear my closets”) was a perfect model for my november, so i created my very first month.

my plan is that at the end of the month, if i have at least 150 X, i will do something special, just for me. i will also be able to judge, at the end of the month, whether this method works for me. i am hoping that it will help me change and create some new, good habits because god knows, i need to watch less tv, do more yoga, and get better about keeping my house in order.

how are you going to make yourself happier?